In October, Morgan Wallen made headlines when his Saturday Night Live debut was canceled after video surfaced of the singer partying maskless at various bars in Alabama amid the coronavirus pandemic. In a recent interview with Bobby Bones on an episode of The BobbyCast, Wallen opened up about the controversy, sharing how it led him to take a step back from the spotlight for two weeks.
"I understand both sides of it a little bit," the "Chasin' You" singer said about the criticism he faced. "I know that I got young kids that look up to me. I need to be mindful of things — I'm not gonna let people control the way I live my life, [but] I do also want to be mindful."
"And honestly, having a son, obviously now I don't know that I'd be proud to show him those videos," he said of his 3-month-old son Indigo Wilder. "I gotta think about some things a little bit differently."
Wallen continued on to reflect on the difficult situation, admitting that it was "almost a good thing for me."
"It kind of forced me away, just to kind of reflect and look at myself and kind of get to know myself again and it was good for me. So I took like a while, almost two weeks, and just turned my phone off and just didn’t even look at it," he explained. "[I] drove on a tractor and things like that and just cleared my head. It was really, really good for me. I don’t really love the circumstances that led to that but I’m thankful for where it led me."
The 27-year-old, who released his first album, If I Know Me, in 2018, went on to reveal that there have been times he's felt lonely and doubted his career.
"Honestly, throughout this whole process, there's been times where I would just be like, 'I'm kind of like lonely and I don't know if I even like this,'" he said. "Then you know there's another high and you're like, 'Wow yeah I love this.' It just kind of goes through phases."
"It's so easy to base your feelings off of what other people think because that's my job," Wallen continued. "I pour my heart and soul into this — I really want these people to like it and then they do like it, and when they do like me, that's awesome. But you start chasing that. You start wanting that feeling all the time. It's almost like a drug."
After Wallen's SNL debut was cancelled, he turned to Instagram to share a video of himself addressing the controversy.
"I'm not positive for COVID, but my actions this past weekend were pretty short-sighted and that have obviously affected my long-term goals and my dreams," Wallen said the clip. "I respect the show's decision because I know that I put them in jeopardy. I take ownership for this. I'd like to apologize to SNL, to my fans, to my team, for bringing me these opportunities and I let 'em down."
Wallen will return to the stage on Wednesday, November 11 during the 54th Annual CMA Awards where he'll perform "More Than My Hometown." He's also nominated for New Artist of the Year alongside Jimmie Allen, Ingrid Andress, Gabby Barrett and Carly Pearce. A complete list of nominees can be seen here.
The 2020 CMA Awards will broadcast live from Nashville's Music City Center at 8PM ET on ABC.
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